Murphy's LAWS -Collection

Murphy's laws
If anything can go wrong, it will
Corollary: It canCorollary sent by Dr. Allen Roberds
Corollary: It shouldMacGillicuddy's Corollary: At the most inopportune time
Corollary sent by Earl R. JohnsonExtension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.Extension sent by Dean A. Izett
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrongExtreme version:If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrongExtreme version sent by Neal Miller
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly developCorollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the othersCorollary sent by Sean Cheshire
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Nature always sides with the hidden flawCorollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.Corollary sent by Dave M.
Mother nature is a bitchAddendum: and not an obedient one at thatAddendum sent by Paul Kekanovich
Murphy's Law of ThermodynamicsThings get worse under pressure.
The Murphy PhilosophySmile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's LawsEverything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's ConstantMatter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy's Law of ResearchEnough research will tend to support whatever theory.
Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.Sent by Tony '68
Addition to Murphy's LawsIn nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong.
More Laws
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Everything takes longer than it takes.Sent by Jon Carpenter
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
no matter how perfect things are made to appear, Murphy's law will take effect and screw it up.Sent by Mitch
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.Sent by Paul Breen
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
More Laws of Selective Gravitation.
A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to crack or break it.
A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).
A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) - unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).
If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) - or into the garbage disposal while it is running.
If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.
If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver's side of your car windshield.
More Laws of Selective Gravitation were sent by Jack from the Classic CKLW Page
The greater the value of the rug, the greater the probability that the cat will throw up on it.Sent by Ralph
You will always find something in the last place you look.
If your looking for more than one thing, you'll find the most important one last.Sent by Alegna
It is never in the last place you look. It is in the first place you look, but never discovered on the first attempt.Sent by Peter
After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original.Sent by Dizzy
You have to look where you lost it.Sent by ClaytonPrc@aol.com
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a personal loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
No good deed goes unpunished.Sent by John Cougar and by getalife who asks "who wrote that?".Illustrious Blackbird knew the answer, it was Samuel L. Clemens also known as Mark Twain.
Where patience fails, force prevails.Sent by Woody.
Erma Bombeck"Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.Sent by Amwood1@amwoodhomes.com.
Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck:The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,the worse you know when this will happen,and vice-versa.and Relativistic correction of Murphy's law:Whether things can go wrong or not, it depends on your frame of reference.Corollary (otherwise said: ill luck is actually absolute):Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.Were sent by Simone Penzavalle.
If you want something bad enough, chances are you won't get it.
If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face.
When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Remember the "Boomer-rang" effect; Whatever you do will always come back.
If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger.